If I admitted that...

...I think about you while masturbating, it would be creepy,

but if you knew how often I did it, you'd be flattered,
but if you were flattered, then you'd be happy,

and you're never happy in my fantasies,
so out of self-interest,

I ain't admitting nothing.

Men are the weakest link.

"[My girlfriend] says the Human Centipede would have been less gross if the girls were up front in the chain, since girls don't poop."

- Nat.

Personally, I think she's full of shit.

Internet Law is a harsh mistress.

CLAIRE
Well, Wesley, a mentor on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, is lame...but then he moves to LA and becomes cool. (Y'know, like y'do.)

IAN
I wonder if that's a trope. Can you do me a favor? Check Wikipedia for a List of Mentors Who Move to LA and Become Cool.

CLAIRE
I'm not finding anything.

IAN
You know, Internet Law states that if you're the first person to search for something, and it doesn't exist, then you're the most qualified to write it. So...good luck!

CLAIRE
Damn it. I don't know anything about Mentors in LA! It's hopeless.

IAN
Look on the bright side: at least this wasn't an infraction of Rule 34. You could've typed "Michael Palin + Batman + felching," and been responsible for bringing it to life.

CLAIRE
What's felching? No, I take it back. I don't want to know.

IAN
Clever girl.

Pure Imagineering.

I used to Hate on creative missteps in the Disney parks.

Now I've decided to use my powers for Good by writing Disney Theme Park Fan Fiction!!

(...that sounded healthier in my head.)

Check out my new blog, Pure Imagineering!