I spent the night writing 'mass grave' jokes.

It started in the shower, when I realized that I'd rather find a time capsule than a mass grave...which suggests that 'material possessions' are better than 'people.'

That got me thinking about the real estate of mass graves. "Location, location, location," right?

Here are some fun places for a mass grave:

in a magician's top hat,
beneath a Christmas tree,
and delicately balanced atop the Leaning Tower of Pisa.

Here are some crafty places for a mass grave:

beneath a traditional cemetery,
beneath a bounce house,
and beneath the Holocaust Memorial Museum.

Here are some tasteful places for a mass grave:

in the foreground of a film directed by Werner Herzog and starring Klaus Kinski,
in the Bodies Exhibition,
and in thirty years' worth of jerky.

Here are some unverifiable places for a mass grave:

atop Eyjafjallajökull,
with Sarah Palin's 'to read' pile,
and in the Disney Vault.

Here are some disappointing places for a mass grave:

at the bottom of a Cracker Jack box,
in your high school crush's panties,
and in a hole you were digging for a new mass grave.

Here are some anti-climactic places for a mass grave:

inside the Trojan Horse,
inside a clown car,
and at a pro-life rally.

(I don't ask for these thoughts. I am a vessel; a Stradivarius forced to play a Beyonce song.)