Putting the 'Oy!' in 'unemployed.'

I found out I didn't get a job as a library assistant...

...when I walked into the library, and saw new assistants.

I've been a patron for two years, I have a Master's degree, and I even floss every day--and I couldn't get an interview for a part-time job as a library assistant.


To make matters worse, the assistant who helped me was condescending, the way your newly-divorced mother's boyfriend would be.

LIBRARY ASSISTANT
Hey, buddy! What sort of dinosaur do you have on your shirt? Is it a brontosaurus?

ME
No, it's a velociraptor. He's riding a penny-farthing.

LIBRARY ASSISTANT
Wowee! You sure know your dinosaurs!

He ended the interaction by giving me a high five...

...and encore'd with a fist bump.

I was so upset, I threw a tantrum, and demanded that he buy me ice cream.