Jeffrey Katzenberg hates this summer's movies.

The CEO of Dreamworks Animation opined, "The last seven or eight months of movies is the worst lineup of movies...in the last five years."

This is the head of a fucking studio, people. This is the man responsible for Kung Fu Panda 2. This is the Man, and he's sticking it to Himself.

I'm not much of a theater-goer, but the three movies I've seen this summer--Midnight in Paris, Horrible Bosses, and Winnie the Pooh--have been delightful. What the hell is Katzenberg complaining about?

Kung Fu Panda 2, presumably.

Surely his cranky outburst has nothing to do with the fact that 3D movies appear to be in decline. That would make it sound like his evil fucking passion project isn't paying off. That would make him sound defensive.

No, Jeffrey Katzenberg is right. 3D movies would be unimpeachable, but all of the movies this summer are horrible. Here are some other things that are hindering the success of 3D movies.

The Holocaust.

Mars' alignment with Jupiter.

Not Me, the mischievous gremlin from the Family Circus.

2D movies, for being "too visual."

Weapons of Mass Destruction.

The sun being in Jeffrey Katzenberg's eyes! He wants a do-over!!

The lack of 3D radio programs.

The gay gene.

Jeffrey Katzenberg's father, for missing the first inning of Jeffrey's little league debut.

Theater, for being the dominant form of 3D entertainment. If only the public would give movies a chance!!

The second dimension, Width, for not pulling its weight.

Roy Disney.

Reality, for being "too visual."