Comedy by Numbers.

I hate that I have to say this. I mean, I love being sanctimonious, but I wish the subject matter was a little less obvious.

Just because your comedy...

1. is lit like a comedy,
2. features actors who deliver your tedious script as if it was funny, and
3. alludes to pop culture where it should have jokes

...doesn't mean it's a comedy.

Your comedy is a comedy if...

1. it's funny.

Jokes are the most surefire way to be funny.

Another way to be funny is by acting silly. It's important to recognize that "acting silly" is not the same as "making a joke."

Acting silly is easier than making a joke, because acting silly...

1. takes no effort, and
2. cashes in on a cheap "You Had to Be There" laugh.

If your comedy is only funny because it features a bunch of people acting silly, it will age like ground beef.

So let's leave acting silly, and discuss jokes.

Jokes are either...

1. an exaggeration or
2. a denial

...of a true statement.

Furthermore, jokes have the same structure. The parts of a joke are...

1. a set-up,
2. an escalation, and
3. a twist.

Any of these parts may be...

1. implied or
2. repeated

...within the same joke, but they're always present.

There. Now you can write jokes.

If your comedy doesn't have jokes, it will age like an anal gerbil.

I hope you're listening, Hollywood. I care too much to watch you struggle with this any longer.

It's time to start taking comedy seriously.