BAAAAnter.

IAN
California Pizza Kitchen's menu over-stimulates me. If I ordered a pizza with, y'know, pizza toppings, I'd be an asshole--but their other pizzas are like those jelly beans from Harry Potter. "Tapioca and urine and sour cream! It turns crimson under a blacklight!"

JOAN
I just like the one with the goat cheese. I'll eat 'goat cheese and snot,' as long as there's goat cheese on the sucker. I honestly can't tell you what else is on that particular pizza. Peppers, maybe...

IAN
Y'know, I can't remember if I've ever had goat cheese. How would you describe it?

JOAN
Like a mouth orgasm. But less vicious.

IAN
I returned to Judaism this summer, so if that's accurate, I'll have to eat the goat cheese through a hole in a sheet. Will this hinder my experience?

JOAN
Just make it a big hole.